Fear and Loathing for the Human Being.

“I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is.” (Forrest Gump)

If Mr. Gump was right about anything during the 142 minute fictional docudrama of his life, it was the previous statement. Forrest was definitely not a smart man but he sure as heck knew what love was.

Oh and btw I didn’t really find love. That title was just to bait you. I’m still bitter and forlorn, so don’t worry.

So the other day a very close friend of mine expressed to me how she had lost faith in love, which seemed odd to me since her life motto up to that point was, “Love wins. Love always wins.”

Of course I was confused. Those are two contradictory ideas. How can you believe something always wins and not have faith in it? I’ll tell you.

Love is selfish. There. I said it.
Love is the most selfish thing in the world. Love (as if it were a tangible person or something) doesn’t care what you’re doing, who you are, where you are, how you got there or how many friends you have on Facebook. It will just walk in your door whenever it feels like it and start running the show, stopping every other damn thing you have going on at the time.

Of course, there are imposters:

Infatuation
noun - an intense but short-lived experience of passion or admiration.
(Infatuation is often present in hook-up situations, but can quickly develop into a catastrophic downward spiral of cheesy meaningful gifts and premature storybook promises that usually end in heartbreak. At first you’re just thinking, “Well gee golly! That person is mighty attractive!” and then it much too quickly turns into, “You need one of my kidneys? Okay, I’ll do anything for you.” This is caused by the sharing of sexual intercourse and is most often a male trait. The one catch about infatuation is explained right in the definition. “Short-lived.” So all you stage 5 clingers might as well live it up while you can.)

Fatal Attraction
noun - a 1987 American thriller/slasher film starring Michael Douglas, Glenn Close and Anne Archer.
(I know that’s not really a definition… but isn’t it? C’mon if you’ve seen the movie then you know what I’m getting at. Pretty much Michael Douglas has some crazy hookup affair with this chick and it was supposed to be a one night stand, yada yada yada, she goes crazy and becomes obsessed with him and then people die. Oh and there’s lots of sex too. Crazy sex. But let’s not forget the death part. Get the picture?)

Polyamory (aka: what Mormons do)
noun - the practice, desire or act of having more than one intimate relationship at one time.
(This could also fall under the category of “playing the field” because the Church of Latter Day Saints has yet to release a clear and concise definition on the subject… probably because they’re too busy getting married. Nonetheless, this is probably the most popular among males but is sometimes openly present in female behavior. Multiple partners is pretty much the new fad of our independent yet contradictory social networking generation. In other words, we USE each other to be independent… hmmm that makes sense.)

Deliverance Style (or “incest” for the bold)
noun - sexual interaction between two people who are classified as being too closely related to marry.
(Okay, this is creepy but I had to add it in because, well, I live in the Southeast where people do that kind of thing. I’ve seen Deliverance, don’t worry. But seriously, incest has nothing to do with love… at least not the kind of love you typically search for. Ever heard that song “Looking for Love”? Well your family counts as one of those “wrong places” that they’re talking about. Needless to say, I will be sure to run the other direction with my hands of my behind if I ever hear banjo music in the woods.)

These are just a few examples of impostors of course, but that’s not the point. The point is, “love” comes in many forms, but Love only comes in one. Yeah, you love your dog, maybe your house or that song you heard the other day that you can’t remember the name of but still hum the first couple of lines over and over again like it means something to you. Sure, you “love” those things but that’s not Love like you love your family.

So, then what is Love Ryley?

Well, I’ll tell you when you put your pants back on.

Love. Real, pure love, comes in one form. It’s when you can take someone who isn’t related to you and regard them as someone who is. It’s when you take someone who formerly had no connection to you and give them one. A direct line. Right to your heart (metaphorically of course… although in some cases I’m sure a literal meaning could be argued). I don’t believe in soul mates and I don’t believe in fate (although I do believe in God) but I do believe that you can fall in love. And there’s not just one. That wouldn’t make sense. The infinite vastness of the universe refutes any possibility of there being only ONE person you could ever truly fall in love with. Love has to be made, it doesn’t just exist in the air.

But Love is even deeper than that. When you love someone, there’s exceptions. Exceptions to everything. Things they do, things you do. The way he/she bites their nails goes from being gross to a cute habit you laugh about when you see them do it. Words or phrases you used to think were dumb, sound like gold when your lover speaks them. Bathroom time might even become a little less personal. All of those examples and an infinite number of more can be explained in one simple phrase that I think defines the raw meaning of love more so than any other way to describe it.

Love is when you know every imperfection, every flaw and every dark secret about someone, but it still doesn’t matter.


That’s what Forrest Gump knew (not to use such an odd reference but, if you ask me, it’s the prime example of love). Forrest knew everything about Jenny. All of her troubles, her shortcomings, the numerous times she abandoned him and he even knew of her terminal illness, but it didn’t matter… Take that home today and think about it. I know I will.